It’s
September and besides the fact that I dislike autumn profoundly, I feel
unchanged. In the previous years, as time passed, I used to become depressed
and sad for no reason at all. At times like that I used to forget who I was and
I used to forget my dreams and cover myself in a cocoon of ignorance and by the
time winter had stroked our land, I would already be numb and long fallen
asleep in my own mist of confusing loneliness.
But now, I
still feel like summer never left, even though the cold mornings give me
chicken skin and keep reminding me that it is over. Maybe it’s just the
beginning and I haven’t yet accepted the present, but it’s nice not to feel
that sudden change that didn’t represent who I was/am at all.
Besides fall,
school started. I am happy and grumpy at the same time. I’m excited to see my friends
again. Between travels, Argentinian friends visiting, a fortnight at my grandparents
and living outside of the city, I had no time to spend with them. But, to be
honest, I regret nothing I did this summer. And they get it. I guess that’s the
beauty of having friends: they get you.
Why am I
grumpy? You ask. Well, waking up when it’s still dark outside and spending half
an hour on the bus and then having to attend a very boring first class it’s not
the most encouraging and exciting way to start your day. “Maybe your days are not supposed to be
exciting” you say; “especially when you are in school”. I guess you’re right.
School is for studying and learning new things that will help you later in
life. And I totally agree with you if you can explain to me why and when am I
going to need to find the ‘x’ in real life? I may need to find my ex for some reconciliation, so to say,
but other than that …
Once this
new school year began, a crazy smoldering fire started out in me. I’m eager to
learn everything I can get my hands on. So I’m having a very productive first
week. I started learning Portuguese, as you may know, in the early days of
September and new coding languages. It’s nice to feel busy.
I’m going
to end the rambling here as I’m too happy to continue writing such autumnal
words about fall. I’m grateful for the still-warm afternoons and the sunset’s
pinks and oranges. Despite the beauty, it's raining tonight...
Oh,
September!
Funny, I just wrote about the weather. I like fall, and I think changing seasons are nice. It's like getting a fresh start, four times a year. But I can certainly identify with being simultaneously happy and grumpy. School can do that to you.
ReplyDeleteAh, well I'm just about to get Spring. ;-) So THANK YOU for giving up summer so I can have it. *hugs summer* I'm a real summer girl, so I can relate to feeling slow and sad in winter. I basically want to hibernate like a bear. That would be the best option.
ReplyDeleteI know! or at least get cozy with a mug of hot chocolate in a cave made of a blanket all winter long! no school, no cold mornings, no nothing... only chick flicks, indie music and artsy books ^.^
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